Maybe it's me... Maybe I'm missing the point..but last night I had an experience that left me disturbed. I watched the wonderful PBS documentary Africans In America which chronicles the horrors of slavery. I watched the show and I came away proud knowing that a lot of my forefathers and fore mothers did not go out like punks. They fought they resisted and they showed some amazing resilience which allowed us as a people to survive. I watched the show and left me with a lot to think about. It was deep..

So afterwards I switched the channel to catch the Chris Rock Show. I think Chris is funny and I like the fact that he can get political. But last night I really wanted to peep out the show cause Jay-Z was on and he's only done one show here in Northern Cali. He unfortunately came out here during the height of the East West Coast drama and folks was trying to heat up on him while he performed.. So I wanted to see how the man with the number one album in the country would get down..

So Jay-Z hits the stage to perform his hit single 'Hard Knock Life' which uses the chorus from the play 'Annie'. He's surrounded by about a dozen beautiful young brothers and sisters. I'm saying to myself this is cute.. Jay-Z has the kids singing the hook to the song.. He does the song and I notice that Jay-Z is not using profanity.. So I start to give him props.. I expect the Chris Rock Show to get raunchy and raw.. I have no problem with that.. But I was happy Jay-Z showed that respect and didn't do the unedited version of his song with all those little kids sitting on stage with him. I felt he was being responsible. Then it struck like a searing knife.. My admiration quickly subsided and turned to anger when out of Jay-Z's mouth came the infamous 'N' word.. Over and over again he used word.. He paid tribute to his 'Nigga' Notorious BIG.. He asked all his 'Niggas' to put their hands up.. He gave big shout outs to all his Niggas.. He dropped the word several more times in the song while all the beautiful kids who looked like they couldn't be older then 10 or 11 sat on stage swaying to the beat of the music.

So here I am watching Jay-Z performing the number one song in the country right now. He's doing a clean version of the song while at the same time letting the word 'Nigga' fly left and right. Yes, he used the word 'nigga', the word that white and Asian kids feel comfortable using when referring to each others and even to us. Not only are folks comfortable but now a lot of people feel it's their God given right to usethe word Nigga. If you don't believe me.. you should check out all the letters I got and view some of the responses people left on my website's Hip Hop Message Board. Last week I put up a set of rules to prevent spamming.. I asked people not to post any porno pictures and to not do multiple posts. I also suggested to people that they think twice before using the N word. I wrote that it's an offensive term for many people including myself. For many it's the ultimate disrespect in which lives were lost and blood was shed. I understand that a lot of folks use the word as a term of endearment. But you never used the word in mixed company.. And if you did it was usually placed in a certain context and laced with politicazl overtones.. i.e Richard Pryor. Well needless to say I got emails from as far away as New Zealand from angry folks who did not understand why I was trippin'. Can you imagine that.. I'm accussed of trippin' for asking people to refrain from using the word Nigga.

I got emails from white kids who tried to explain that they only use the word when they're rappin' on the mic.. Others explained that they're 'down with hip hop and the streets and their 'close' Black friends don't mind. I had brothers explain that they use the word 'cause that's how they talk. 'I was raised that way and I ca